Taking the ‘ick’ out of money chat is something I really believe can help us all.
Here I am as part of a panel of amazing women, talking to more amazing women, all about money...pinch me now! Incredible.
I don’t know about you, but growing up I certainly wasn’t told that it was okay or normal to talk about money.
Quite the opposite in fact.
It’s uncouth. Impolite. Uncomfortable. Even shameful.
This, my friends, is ‘the money ick’.
The panel I was part led a 'let's talk about money' discussion. We covered the conditioned thinking, feeling, and behaving about money that many of us have been exposed to. From parents’ relationships with money, or from workplaces where money talk was strictly off the table, or as an engrained part of the British culture.
In the absence of clear and honest communication about money, we are left guessing and assuming what’s going on.
Just one of the many consequences is that we interpret people’s financial status by what we can see and hear – from the car they drive, the house they live in, the shoes they wear, the accent they have...
Have you ever done this? I do it. All. The. Time.
But what happens next?
Sometimes we feel pressured to present our own financial status in these ways too, even if it doesn’t fully represent the reality of what’s in the bank.
Sometimes we compare ourselves with others but are using these outward (often unreliable) expressions of wealth to do so.
Sometimes we make financial decisions that don’t align with what we want or who we are because we aren’t informed, don’t feel empowered, or are attempting to please or influence an external audience.
Operating in this unreliable context, on a shaky ground of assumptions, shame, and taboo, is utterly exhausting at best. And at worst, can mean we judge money and ourselves unnecessarily harshly, feeding our inner critics a big beige buffet of money mindset woe.
“I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough, I’m a failure so move aside whilst I gorge even more from the big beige buffet of self-doubt”
Imagine your life where talking about money was entirely normal? What then?
I believe that when we normalise talking about money we can…
1. Realise that we aren't alone and can connect in deeper, more meaningful ways based on reality rather than assumption.
2. Ditch the shame or guilt and the attempts to use money to mask our true feelings or to prove a point. And that feels SO bloody liberating.
3. Get to work on improving our relationship with ££ and in turn connect with our own value, boosting our self-worth and consciously living a more abundant life.
4. Feel empowered, more confident, assured, and resilient because we know where we stand with money and can make financial decisions that serve US not other people
5. Gain more time, avoid stress and squabbles, and find more peace. We feel freer!
Amazing that all this can start with just a bit more conversation!
Is there a space where a little more money chat would bring some benefits? Where you can you test out a more empowered money conversation?
Remember, a lot of people have spent a lot of time under the weight of ‘the ick’ so tread kindly and carefully with yourself and others. Focus on the act of talking money and not so much on the outcomes just yet.
You are breaking long-standing barriers.
Holly x
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